Introduction to "I am David"

I am David is a heart-warming story that takes you through David's journey to find his true family. This novel shows life through a boy's eyes in a concentration camp during World War 2 and a long, heroic journey to escape from it. Throughout the book, David meets different types of people that help him develop his character and teach him different aspects of life. David fights hard for his freedom, encountering everyday challenges such as hunger, weakness, pain, sorrow that are all in his mixed emotions.

David can never reveal his identity, after all, what if one of them are there?

Journal of David

My palms were sweating at the time, not from exhaustion, but from anxiousness. About a million questions entered my head.

What if she did not recognize me? After all, it has been over 10 years since I haven’t seen my mother; it’s an awfully long time. But even worse, what if she was not in Denmark like Sophie had said? Sometimes, I dreamt of her, if I was lucky enough to have any dreams. I would get strange flashbacks in them also. It was torture, but at least I had a vision on how she looked like. Those caring eyes, lovely smile and that warm grip when she cradled me in her arms. It was a feeling like she would never let go of me.

 I hadn’t had a decent conversation for a long time, and I wouldn’t even know how to start a sentence with her!  The last time I had a conversation was with... Maria. Oh, how I missed Maria! Just thinking about her made my heart ache! When I passed a beautiful view of the mountain tops, I saw a tree full of blossoms that reminded me of her.

I didn’t mind the silence, as I was quite used to it. If you’d just listen, you can find many answers to your problems. Anyway, there weren’t many people to talk to. A Swiss had driven me and King to Frankfurt, and I’d managed to get a couple of rides from there. The first Swiss had asked me if I ran away from home, and for the first time in my life, I told the truth.

When travelling, the view started to become familiar, and I knew something wasn’t right here. Oh no! It led me back to my doom, the concentration camp! It must have been when I was playing with King! What am I going to do now?

King and I hid in the bushes, as I was thinking of ways to save him, a token of gratitude for the loyal companion who stayed by my side no matter what. As the borderline was near, the guards stood beside the gates, and shot anything that came by.

No time to turn back now, I thought to myself.  What would be the point of this journey if I die? It would be unfair to King too, from all that he had survived with me.

I figured if I died with hope and worthiness, then I knew it was my fight for survival that got me to where I was that day. I would die with reason. One side of me was telling me to stop fighting for my freedom, as the pain would come only for a second and then I’d rest in peace, forever. The other side was telling me to not give up, to stand strong and not give into them. I was strong-willed at the time, but at the rate it was going, I was agreeing to the rest-in-peace side more.

All of a sudden, King pounced out, and before I knew it, a shot fired. I ran out of the bushes, as King yelped in the background. It made a piercing, shrill whimper. The dog was doing this for me, letting me escape while he got shot.

 So I ran for it, until I reached Denmark. It was somewhere I felt a bit safer.

All the time when I was traveling, I kept on glancing behind me, thinking King was there. But I realized he isn’t coming back. I felt unbearable pain; I lost my only friend, companion throughout this journey. This was his blessing for me to go on and find my home. His loyal attitude and playful appearance had always made me smile, the way I will always remember him. Good-bye King.

When I arrived in Denmark, the road was so full! People were pushing, and trying to get by me, as I was a dazed boy in the middle of it all. I was so dumbfounded, since I had never seen such a busy road, filled with so much traffic and noises that can make your head spin. I felt very confused. How will I find my mother now?

I asked a couple of people for if they knew her and checked the contact book for addresses. There she was! With some directions and guidance, I was already there, on her footstep. I felt anxious again, and nauseous, as my stomach swerved and I began to fiddle with my hands.

I was daring myself to knock at her door and I was resisting not to. But there I was, banging heavily at her door. I swallowed hard as the door opened, and I had hope in me that it would be her, Edith Hjorth Fengel. When the woman showed up, it was the same one from my flashbacks! The same welcoming aura when she held me as a baby, but her eyes looked restless. Her lips not curved into a smile, showing no emotions and looking very different than my memories. But I knew it was her, my mother, without doubts. I was absolutely sure, but I hoped she had remembered me.

As soon as she looked at me, her expression changed into happiness. She looked exactly like the woman from my flashbacks. When she said my name, it was the same voice from an angel. Seeing my mother for real made me smile, and I knew how to, even after a long time. I had found my home; I was finally free.

Thank-you King.

Comments

I wrote comments on Dima's and Erica's blog that show critical thinking.
On Dima's blog: Picture of Johannes
On Erica's blog: Journal of Johannes

Reflection on King's Journal

I chose to write a journal entry in King’s perspective because there wasn’t much information about him, so I could build on his character. I can relate to King better because there is not much about him, and less on Maria and other characters that are known well in the story. They are already developed so there isn't much more to say from their perspective. Also, many people would not have thought to choose King, an animal who cannot write a journal.

I can express King’s actual thoughts and feelings about David, since he was a dog and could not express himself. There were many possibilities on what King thinks of David. He always supported David’s beliefs and served as a companion and protector on his journey.

King is a small character at the end that we know a little about, but he saved David’s life in a way we can never imagine an animal doing. He gave up his life for David. King was David’s true friend.

Journal of King

The pain shot through my chest, like a thousand knives stabbing at me. My body throbbed and ached all over as I hit the ground with a thud. I did not have the strength to get up. I tried to open my eyes, but my vision was blurry. All I wanted was to see the boy, whether he escaped or not. I could only catch glimpses of him. He stood still, in shock and his feet were planted into the ground, as if he was deciding life or death. Go! I tried to bark at him, but all that came out was a small whimper. I felt faint and the scene in front of me was slowly turning black.

Everything was coming back to me now.

The wind blowing in my fur, being able to run free and with my tongue lolled out to the side. That was the greatest feeling ever! How joyous and exciting it was with the boy. I had never felt freer in my life. He never gave me commands, or acted like my master, but referred to me as a companion. I felt like my own master, able to do anything I wished to. It was good for a change.

The boy was not like the other two little hooligans that lived in the farm; he was much kinder than them. He had caring hands and stroked my back gently, while the other ones played so roughly that it was better to stay away from them.

He would always look sorrowful and preserved, always in thought, but my air-headed actions would make him laugh. I wonder what happened in his past life, since he looks as if he were regretting something. Maybe that is what this journey is about, I thought, to find a home. Even if this journey is hard enough surviving, I have excellent company. That is all what matters.

The whole point of me coming along this journey with the boy was not only freedom, but to have at least some company, too. I was always alone, abandoned in that stable. I wasn't even allowed to play with dogs from other farms! But when the boy came along with such a calm attitude than the other ones, so quiet yet independent, I could relate to him about being lonely. I figured if we kept each other company, we wouldn’t feel so alone anymore. I adored his presence greatly.

My other reason to come along was to ensure the boy ended his journey successfully, and found his destination. I would serve as some sort of protector. Not that I have much strength, but I would give it my all for that boy.  I owe him a lot because he was the one who saved me from my life back in the farm. It was cruel and torture there.

I cannot ensure the boy came home because my journey ends here. It was my fate to die, not his. I do not regret what I have done, and if it gets the boy home safely then I know I have done my job right.  

Unfortunately, I do not know if the boy decided to stop along with me or continued his journey as I wish. I do hope he ends his journey with success.

All went black.

Visual vs. Text

Personally, when I have to choose between pictures vs. text, I choose text because of all the descriptive writing. This helps you create pictures inside your head, just like a movie. Everybody has their own imagination of characters in the book and portraits them differently. 

            But there are some cons about text, and pros about pictures and movies. A text could be forgotten if not descriptive enough or if the reader skips the line by accident. The author cannot describe every feature to a character’s face, but a picture can. So every time somebody looks at the picture, there is always one extra detail they didn't notice and that causes them to think over the character's looks again.    

            When somebody reads a sentence such as “David smiled for joy when he saw Maria”, they won’t feel the joy and happiness David was feeling at the moment, but only count it as a bunch of words. When someone sees a picture, they can relate to the character, and enough to make them smile too for another person’s happiness. And in sorrow, the person cries along with the picture’s mood and background that make it melancholy. And because everybody pictures a different image when the author is describing it in the book, you can compare the actual character to your imagination.

Reflection on "The Man's" Journal

“The man” as David calls him, is one of those small characters that show up in the book once or twice but have a really important part. Without him, this story would not fall in place because he was the one who saved David’s mother, Edith, from being killed in the concentration camp. She would not have escaped; therefore David wouldn’t have a reason to travel to Denmark as he did. “The man” had also told David the directions to get to Denmark and where the compass and bottle of water were hidden. He could have easily used them for himself to escape. “The man” is not selfish or greedy, but lets David as a young boy pass rather than himself.

            I chose this character because as I said before, without him the story breaks apart and does not make sense. Also it was difficult writing about him because I did not have enough information about him in the book, and he was very mysterious and suspicious to me from the beggining. The time I chose was before “The man” had shown David how to get out of the concentration camp. It also includes a bit about his life before 11 years, when he saved Edith, David’s mother. The time I chose helps explain a lot of questions that readers wonder about. For example; why did “The man” help David escape from the camp? He helped David because he was in love with his mother before, who resembled him so much in many ways to “The man”. He could not stand seeing David being tortured like that.

            I think it is time people hear the story of a character that was mentioned very little, but held the whole story up.

Journal of "The Man"

First of all, I don’t really mind living. In fact, I’d rather choose death over life from the kind of treatment I’m getting here. It’s a pain, but I’m used to it. From all the time I’d been here, I can take whatever punishment they decide to give me. I don’t care at all. My life isn’t nearly as important as the young one’s is. He carried such a resemblance to Edith. Her eyes, colour of hair and personality, always determined, yet cautious. It is more of a pain watching that boy every day compared to the beatings they give me. There is no point any more, as my pride and spirit are already broken, but I must make sure the young fellow’s isn’t. That’s more important to me than anything since I already lost Edith. I just have to help this boy get home to Denmark. Just have to.

He is a lucky one, you see. He was supposed to be killed along with his father when Edith escaped. She felt so hopeless at the time, her whole family was caught to be killed, so she thought. Now I am a prisoner here, once a guard, because I helped Edith get away.

 I don’t regret it.

She was my love at the time. I’d rather be killed and tortured than see her being killed. Now she lives in sorrow in Denmark, still grieving over her husband and son, one who is still alive but without her knowing. But as I said before, her son is abandoned and punished but still has his pride and dignity left. He is just a child! Me, as an adult, I still have tears streaming down my cheeks as I get whipped, but an innocent child tortured like that I will not tolerate. Yes, I had said I wasn’t afraid or nervous when the cruelty begins, but I had never said that made the pain unbearable.

I was young at that time; it was about 10 years ago! But I would’ve done the same thing I did then. I’m not calling myself a hero of some sort, but if it weren’t for me, Edith would have been killed by now. Now I must help Edith’s son too, so she has some part of her family left. I must tell him the directions out of this death camp and into the real world, with a bundle in the bushes that I had left especially for him. Edith’s family must be preserved, at least her son, that is.

When speaking to him I must act casual, so he does not suspect me in any way. After all, he is a clever boy and might think I planned a trap for him. It is his destiny to live with Edith, not mine. I could easily cross the fence and escape from here, but I have no life to live much more, as they will kill me soon. So with my directions and the boy’s clever mind, he will get out of this camp and into the real life. From there, it is none of my business.

Picture of David

                

Every book has its main character, and there is always something about that main character that sticks with us. In this case, the characteristic that captured my attention was David’s eyes.

Everybody just saw him as a beggar-like 12-year old boy, with dark hair and unusual grey eyes with a hint of green, but he is much more than just an unusual boy. It’s not that his eyes are strange by colour, but by all the visions he’s seen, that make him seem much more mature than his age. The eyes are the mirror of the soul.

                In this picture, there is a boy lying in the long grass in the night, who represents David to me in so many ways.

 Anne Holm portraits David not as desperate or scared, but as a courageous and confident boy. When escaping from the camp, he is afraid, but does not show it or panic. To him it is better to be shot while crossing the fence than living in a death camp. It also shows the conditions David has to live through for his fight to freedom. David’s life in the camp helped him build his strong personality and as it was mentioned in the book, he would always look straight in one’s eyes regardless how powerful the person was.

He never acted as the poor boy he was; and he would never accept mercy, as he had too much pride. He would only accept well earned money from someone he had liked. He would be very humble and sincere when a good deed has been done. A smile on his face would only appear when speaking to Maria. But even then, that smile covered many of his wounds and made it appear sorrowful.

 Whether he is lying on the damp ground, traveling in the harsh winter, being invited in a home or talking to someone, David’s expression is always that bleak, dreary look. His intelligence and experience help him survive the harsh conditions like back in the camp. David in the picture below is calm but always alert for any sudden noises or movement, the same way I see him.

Picture of Maria

I drew this picture from my own perspective and imagination of Maria, including the text:

“She had black curly hair, very long and everything about her was so beautiful- not just her fine red dress, but everything.”

                But of course my picture is in black and white, that visualizes an older fashioned theme and takes you back in time, around the late 1950s decor and style of furniture also. I had always pictured her to be elegant and slender as well as still childish and having a sense of fun in her life. Maria has rosy, blushed cheeks, a curve of the ends of her lips to form a slight smile, a dandy dress with fancy flats and an honest pose in my drawing. She is about 11 years old, only a year younger than David, but her description and personality in the book makes her seem much younger since she had a care-free life surrounded by her big family.

              Maria is energetic and loves to play when she is around her brothers, but with David, she can relate about being lonely sometimes as the only girl in her family. When he speaks to her, she acts like a different person. Maria is understanding, patient and always willing to explain everything to David that he does not know about or saw. She looks up to David as a role model, and everything he does is right to her.
               In my picture, Maria is ready to listen to your problems with you, a person that you can confined in, that is the vibe I get from reading about her in the book. She is a very good-hearted and intelligent person from my perspective. Unlike her brothers, Maria set aside time to play and wants to learn about life other than hers, a life like David's, without wealth or home.

Quotations

"His eyes frighten me, too. They're the eyes of an old man, an old man who's seen so much in life that he no longer cares to go on living.They’re not even desperate... just quiet and expectant, and very, very lonely, as if he were quite alone of his own free choice."

- Elsa, Maria's mother. Pg. 121

 This is my favourite quote in this book, since it describes David in the most mysterious ways that is the perspective and first thing that comes to mind of the people who meet him. His eyes.

“He doesn’t look like the others and always moves off when you look at him. He’s got very strange-looking eyes...”

“You can see he isn’t an ordinary little tramp. Those eyes... can’t you see his eyes?’

  

Worn out and weary, they hold many visions, many secrets of David that are not mentioned in the book. His past life, unknown and kept to himself, not shared with anybody. David is used to being alone and perhaps if he tells somebody close a part of his past life; they will know where he came from and get separated by them.

One other advantage of this quote is that I can relate to David in any way such as writing a poem, journal entry...etc. He has seen too much a child should not have to live through. The torture, pain and loss of his life that is too much for a child to handle, even adult! But not David, he has witnessed as much as an old man. No one knows what memories lie behind those eyes.

                “Sorrow has its life just like people. Sorrow is born and lives and dies. And when it is dead and gone, someone’s left behind to remember it. Exactly like people.”

-          Sophie Bang. Pg. 155

Sometimes memories and guilt follow you. And you have to learn how to let it go, forget about the past and focus on the future. Everything you do in the past affects the future, and for all we know David has the most difficult path to follow. All the time, wherever he goes, sorrow clings on and he has an attitude that makes people wonder. Guilt and loss fade, while sorrow and pain stay, deep inside the heart. When people make first impressions of this strange boy, why he doesn’t smile, his sorrowful appearance and bother him with it, they don’t know what he went through in his life.

When Johannes, his only mentor, friend, role model to look up to is gone, David decides not to develop a bond between anyone. The pain when he sees families together and the fact that he doesn’t have one, sice being alone is his only choice. I have felt loss and pain before, everybody has at least in one point of their life. But nobody can compare their sorrow that was once in a life time to David’s, that is always there wherever he goes.

"Joy passed, but happiness never completely disappeared: a touch of it would always remain to remind one it had been there. It was happiness that made one smile, then."

- Johannes. Pg. 91

      “David was full of happiness and triumph, clinging onto the prize that he cheated death of.”

For the first time after Johannes had died, David actually felt joy in his heart for saving Maria from the fire; it was his brave and determined attitude that helped him survive it. He was never able to smile, as there hadn’t been anything so far in his life to smile about. It was a wonder to David for what had made him smile, joy perhaps? But no, it was happiness. David remembered even the tiniest moments of joy he had, after all, he had none in the concentration camp. Even if it included earning a couple of lire, getting free bread or being able to bathe. All of this joy passed for him; he would soon forget about it, but the happiness that brought along that joy never left his heart.

People nowadays own everything and think of it all as vital necessities but all David had was a little bundle that he needed in order to survive. So every moment that something or someone new came along that were nice to him, he would never forget the happiness of being treated well for once in his life. Unlike people today who regard what David witnessed just a little moment of joy that passed quickly and will be forgotten. But even we, people of today, have experienced a period of time in surprise and excitement. Even though that has faded away, we will always feel an ounce of the happiness that made us the person we are today.

“What the boy doesn’t know, he won’t miss.”

-Johannes. Pg. 99

What Johannes is saying here is that, if David is used to his horrible and poor life in the concentration camp, and doesn’t know any better, why hear about the luxurious life of others outside the camp? All he knows is this one life, one feeling, and if someone told him of other people’s lives, he would long for it, wonder and worry why he does not live that happily. It wouldn’t be fair to David and he would yearn for this life, more and more every day, and become even more miserable than he already is. This way, if he doesn’t know about the treasures of the good life and only has this one life in front of him, David wouldn’t know about it and therefore not miss it.

We human beings are filled with jealousy and desire for something better than we already have, when we see it or hear about it. We forget about our own life and concentrate about other peoples' lives that are better and more satisfying to us. In this case, I wouldn’t blame David if he had longed for the good life because his life is torture in that concentration camp. But when you don’t have a clue about something better than you already have, you won’t miss it unlike people who already heard about it. After all, who doesn’t want something better when they hear or see it?

Glossary

1.     They:

There are different meanings to this term that David uses, as it depends on the reader’s perspective. As most people would think that they are the Nazi who held David and other people hostage in the concentration camps. They can also be David’s mixed emotions, fears and thoughts that haunted him. Every reader has a different outlook on this word.

2.     Beauty:

A divine characteristic in a person, place or thing that is pleasant, enjoyable or delightful to someone. Either colour, texture, shape or pattern, or personality that is pleasing to someone.

      “The fine, delicate blossom brought Maria to mind. A tree full in bloom was among the most beautiful of things, and David’s smile came unbidden.”

3.      Evil:

A person or thing that is wicked, horrible or cruel, or does disastrous deeds, causes pain or torture to a living creature. Anything wrong or bad such as them in the novel.

      “They did not know Carlo was evil.”

David referred to Carlo as evil after using brute force with him, to cause pain.

4.    God of the Green Pastures and Still Waters:

“The Lord is my shepherd. I shall not want. He maketh me to lie down in the green pastures. He leadeth me beside the still waters. He restoreth my soul. He leadeth me in the paths of righteousness for His Name’s sake. Yea, though I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, I will fear no evil, for Thou art with me.”

      This is the God David chose to follow and believe, using factual information from the church at first. David then builds onto this God to make him unlike the other ones, David’s own God.

5.    Freedom:

To David, freedom is the right to speak up, to be his own person without any restraints and to be his own master. That no one can take control of him, to have his own power and to have his own voice.